My Space is a scary world. I'm always amazed at parents who claim that they want to know what their child is doing, but they never go on My Space to find out. Do you really want to know what your little angel is up to? Just type their name into a My Space search and you can probably find out. Just make sure you have a few drinks first.

One of the scariest things about My Space is the strangers who try to contact you. Tonight I got this e-mail (I'm not kidding) from some weirdo in Istanbul.

---- Hi, I am ETIN, I am 35 years old. I Live Turkey in Istanbul, you are very beatiful and you are sexy I have a camera and I want to chat you because you are wanderful girl, I have messenger my yahoo avazelal7171@yahoo.com ,
hotmail messenger adress: avazelal7171@hotmail.com have you msn or yahoo I wait you bye. I KISS YOU ----

What a freak. He even looks like some psychopathic cannibal murderer.

It reminds me of Halloween 1996. My friend Sarah and I went to a bar called Cafe Kilamanjaro. for some good food and Salsa dancing. The crowd was very mixed which added to the charm. That night a recent Cuban transplant name Jorge decided he was in love with me. In fact, he told me this about 30 times.

If I remember right his exact words were "I love you, you teach me English?" He also repeated several times that he had a cell phone. It seems funny now, but we actually had to sneak out the side door and leave because he would not go away.

Not long after that episode I started hanging out at Redneck bars. At redneck bars the toothless drunks I attract seem harmless.

One night, I was playing DJ at Harold's and this trucker invited me out to the parking lot to see his “Big Rig.” I respectfully declined. The good thing about a drunken redneck is that he normally walks away when you turn him down.

Of course there was the drunken midget that fell off his bar stool (in slow motion) as he tried to sneak a feel of Twinkie when she wasn't looking. Now he was funny scary.