Have you ever listened to your better-half snore for hours on end and thought "if I just put the pillow over his face it would all stop." I wouldn't really do it, but sometimes that sound just makes me feel crazy.

Once I did reach over and squeeze his nostrils together. He gasped for breath, jumped out of bed and when he realized what I had done, he acted like I had just stabbed him or something. He went on and on about trust and how he would never do that to me. The more he talked about it the harder I laughed.

It takes a lot to make H3 mad, but he hates it when I laugh at him. The more I laugh, the angrier he gets and then the harder I laugh. It's an uncontrollable action.

The other day, he was stringing a bunch of cuss words together and I asked him to tone it down. Then I made the mistake of mentioning that a mother had given him a dirty look while we were at Denny's.

So he launched into this speech about this being America and his first amendment rights --- well I lost it. I started laughing (I think might have called him Earl) and I kept on laughing until he stomped off and would not speak to me the rest of the night. Of course, every time he walked past me I would crack up again.

The one time I probably crossed the line (okay I cross it all the time) was when I fell asleep with gum in my mouth. I remember waking up and thinking "I thought I had gum when I went to bed" but then I was on to the next random image.

A few hours later Megmonster and I were watching TV when H3 came into the room (no shirt) and asked me "what's on my back?" To say that H3 is hairy would be an understatement. Think Robin Williams.

To my horror I realized his thick mane of back hair (yuk) was plastered with pink bubble gum. And it was not just in one spot. As he had tossed and turned (snoring) he smeared it into every hair. I can't remember exactly what I said, but Megmonster and I started to laugh and laugh and laugh.

The more we laughed, the more pissed he got. That just made us laugh harder. And the entire time I was cutting it off his back, I was laughing. Every once in a while Megmonster or I will bring the story up and laugh like it just happened.

H3 still fails to find it amusing.