I have been in Mayberry less than six weeks and someone has already called me a bitch. I think that sets a new record.

Here's the scoop:

The company that I am running has a (crappy) Web site that I am trying to redesign. The Web site is being hosted and was maintained by a local-yokel. The yokel (let's call him Barney Fife) had a pretty sweet deal with the previous director. She did not even know how to use a computer so he would bill her for all kinds of stuff and she would just pay him.

But Barney was slick enough to get the former director to sign a two year hosting contract before she left. I knew from the start that Barney did not like me. When I would ask him questions he would just make something up. Unfortunately for him I know enough about computers to press for a real answer.

The other day I registered two new domain names for the company. When I called Barney to get the correct DNS info (so I could change the settings at Network Solutions) he seemed irritated by my request. His response was "I will just take care of it."

Imagine my surprise when I got billed for 1.5 hours of work. For those of you who have never set up a new domain name it takes about 3 minutes, if that long.

So I called Barney and asked why it took so long. He told me a bunch of bull about running into problems and how he was charging me for a years' worth of DNS administration.

So I sent him an e-mail asking for a detailed breakdown of the 1.5 hours. I also asked him about a computer he sold the company a few months ago. This "new machine" ended up being a refurbished machine even though the company was told it was new, the invoice said it was new and the company paid for a new machine.

Barney also charged the company for a copy of XP home edition that was already installed on the machine at the factory. I am sure he thought no one would realize this.

So after several e-mail exchanges he called and started screaming at me. The highlight of the conversation was when he said Â….

" You think you can come in here from a big city like you are some big bad bitch from New York City, well this is a small town and I will ruin you."

After I brought up some of the shady (and illegal) things I had proof of, he said "just forget the bill for the DNS change, I will write it off, I don't have time to mess with this anymore."

I thanked him and ended the conversation with "I want to make it clear that if you ever call me and talk to me like you just did I will take the issue to my board of directors and let them deal with you. Like you said, this is a small town and things do get around."

He did not respond.

Needless to say, I moved the Web site to another company and the rerouted the DNS. How long did it take me to change the DNS info on Net Solutions? About 3 minutes.

It will probably take Barney about 1.5 hours to figure out that we have moved.

The bitch strikes again.