I have been reading some old blog posts and a few of them now seem kind of prophectic. This one really struck a chord.

http://angielaw.blogspot.com/2007/06/evil-is-as-evil-does.html

I called Twinkie tonight to give her the rundown of all the insane things that had happened in the past 4 weeks. She was at a convention so she needed the short version. Anyway I forgot how much fun it was to laugh at all the insanity. Hearing her chuckle put all the stupidity in perspective. I only wish I had thought to take a picture of the orange and white striped jail suit.

I have learned many valuable lessons this year. For instance if you ever feel like you are drowing just put your feet down.

But yesterday I learned one of the most valuable lessons of all. When a police officer has you handcuffed and face down on the hood of his car and he tells you what he could charge you with, your response should never be "Go ahead and do it Mutha Fucker."

1. The Xanax didn't help?
2. Did you make plans to walk out in traffic or was it an impulse thought?
3. Stay with her at all times, I mean at all times do you understand?
4. She seemed in control a few weeks ago
5. Are you under a lot of stress?
6. I am taking you out of work until next week.
7. Can she borrow some of your Xanax?
8. Have you been drinking?
9. Did you have a good nap?
10. I think we should call Dr.ZarZar

1. The best diet is the depression diet
2. WTF is wrong with me?
3. Maybe I am okay, WTF is wrong with the rest of the world?
4. Twinkie would kill me if she knew
5. I am not sure my parent know how much I love them
6. Again, WTF is wrong with me?
7. When did my sweet little boy decide that Farting was cool?
8. You can always, always depend on your girlfriends
9. There are days when i just don't want to wake up
10. Maybe this is as good as it gets

Everyone handles recovery in a different way. And since you all know I never do anything in a normal way you won't be suprised that the best way for me to put my self back together is to run away for a while.

So I rented a car, drove to Gatlinburg, and spent the day by myself at the pool. I know you are thinking that there must be a pool closer to home that I could have sat by, but sometimes you just need to go were no one knows you.

Anyway here is the way I do rehab:





And yes Twinkie, my toes are painted red :)

Sometimes, when things change you forget the good things and only remember the bad.

So I am going to write a list of 100 happy memories that have happened this year. It's a work in progress and it won't mean anything to anyone but me, but I hope it will be part of the rehab.

100.What's that spot on your shirt?
99. 1800 shots
98. The corners of elevators
97. Great discussions during road trips
96. The TGI Friday's waiter
95. The look of horror at the TGI Friday's fart
94. Good mornings
93. Sweaty Betty's and Dancing Dan
92. Big bags of oranges
91. OBI Gym and Stairwell
90. Two and a half men
89. Oh no I forgot to bring any money
88. Lobster Boy
87. Dancing
86. Drops of Jupiter
85. Bobbie Jean
84. Spontaneous talks that last until 2:00 am
83. Say Peurto Vallarta for me
82. What would you do if I called you at 4:00 am?
81. Boxers help me breathe
80. Hearing Linda sing "It's 2:00 am in the Mornin, and I am .....
79. The kids at the Grasshoppers game
78. The midget at the Grasshoppers game
77. Lou licking the salt
76. Chicago
75. Hot Dogs, rednecks and the gambling room
74. Geeze O Pete, Bitches in the back
73. I'm a screamer!
72. "Smack"
71. Dance Break
70. Lori's Cure All
69. Basketball at Blackhorns
68. Bowling 3 back-to-back strikes (paid for that one)
67. The modern art gallery
66. Did I say that out loud?
65. Chicken, Chicken-n-Barbecue, MF Chicken, 911!!
64. Nashville
63. Zaxby's Hotter than Hell Wings
62. I had a disturbing complaint about your room
61. Shit Sandwich
60. Don't give up, it's me, not you
59. Ping Pong Paddle
57. Replaying funny movie scenes to laugh again
56. Laughing so hard we pee
55. The all night girl talk (and shots) with Linda
54. Momma says these are magic shoes
53. Plane rides
52. That light is Ghetto
51. How much further to Myrtle Beach
50. Beans and Franks
49. We got a bleeder
48. Our story
47. The diary "He's a little whacked, but sweet"
46. Watching Montel at the Sprint store
45. Chipotle Margaritas
44. Daily recaps before sleep
43. Truth or dare
42. Word association
41. Learning bathroom humor
40. Picking Strawberries, Big Boss Man
39. Tiramisu
38. Grease
37. Prince Charming does not have dirty butt crack
36. When I am hungry I get flatulence
35. I don't know who to blow in this town
34. Sharing dark chocolate with butter cream centers
33. Long talks over dinner
32. Root beer
31. Did your butt just say Squirrel?
30. Ba-BOOM
29. Chicken George
28. That makes me gassy
27. You Scarr me Mark
26. Ratso
25. Did she pick that card out for you? "Um no, I did"
24. Doggie and Kitty get a bank card
23.

To all my friends I am sorry that I just dropped off the earth. It's been a crazy 4 months since my last post. There has been joy and deep hurt, but the good news is that I am still here and working toward getting things back on track.

I have learned how to laugh again and I have learned how much your heart can break. I have also learned that there is goodness in the world and you can find good in any situation if you look deep enough.

For those of you still out there...thanks for hanging in. Over the next few weeks I will be writing a lot, call it theraphy. Some of it may not make sense but hopefuly some will.

Love
Ang